Let's me try my best not to curse.
I'm not doing anything.
I'm not feeling anything.
I'm not saying anything.
As it doesn't mean anything.
Because I'm a sick cosmic joke.
For the whole day,
All I want to do is lying around.
not doing anything,
not even thinking to do anything.
In everything I do,
I try and try to realize,
that I lost my important thing.
Accepting that fucking truth,
is fucking hard.
Tell you what,
I want to hear my music collection.
I want to use my own broadband.
I want to text somebody.
I want to call people.
I want to wear a earphone in class.
I want to edit my damn picture collection.
I want to watch HIMYM collection.
I want to use picnik and uploaded to my damn blog.
I want to write my damn feeling in my phone.
I want to read past message from them.
I want to remember my friends birthday.
I want to remember my friends telephone number.
I want to know my friends address.
I want to know my friends Identification cards.
I want to see again all my picture collection.
All information that I need in my Compaq CQ40.
I want to just set how long I can hold my breath using my W995.
I want to do all the stupid things with my phone.
If I list all the thing I can do using my own phone and laptop,
it'll be long and hard to write.
The damn truth that it has been fucking gone.
I can't do what I can do and want to do without both of it.
And it has been A FUCKING AWESOME DAY.
Both of it have always been there.
when I lost my mind,
when I lost my consciousness,
when I scattered my pride,
when I recollected it back,
when I'm sick of all the things around me.
when I'm sad, when I'm happy, even when I'm feeling empty.
And to know that something that always been there for me all these time,
has fucking gone,
all I felt is empty and cold.
p.s : All I can do is regain my believing in 'Everything happens for a reasons' and it'll be alright. I just need a helping hand. And it doesn't seems hope is recommended at this point.
